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90: Doubleglory

“The light that shines twice as bright burns half as long,” but can you live with that—half as long?

89: World Wide Waste

The spirit of the day is defined by a shitty internet connection to the unending toxic wastes of the World Wide Web.

88: Motörhead

Cars should decay much faster, maybe designers could make'em rot in only a couple of winters—there are far too many of them, everywhere.

87: Unalienized

The day you stopped believing in UFOs—what a sad day!

86: Imaginary superfriend

Some people have this imaginary superhero friend called God.

85: iCognize

Comprehension of how slimy human hands are remains entirely elusive until proudly owning a shiny iPhone.

84: Spoilvertising

Bad advertising is more poisonous than bad food.

83: Really special relativity

Life is short, but it can be made to seem longer—by either infinite boredom or atrocious suffering.

82: Antidarwinism

When extremely tired, the biped position in public places should be entirely optional.

81: Autoparity

For every slaughtered animal a random car from the streets should be crushed and destroyed.

80: Tubelog

A tubelog is a long, tall web page on which a person called tubelogger pastes a YouTube video every now and then.

79: Messive

Humankind's messiest inventions are the gun powder and the paper wrapped butter, not necessarily in this order.

78: Fakemiration

We do not always like the things we admire—what we really enjoy, though, are things that we don't admire at all.

77: Cheaplit craving

The sudden urge to quickly read an old copy of a cheap pulp fiction book.

76: iPatch

Music passing right through the skin just like a nicotine patch.

75: Voidlutionism

A strong belief in evolutionism and a strong financial system tend to become mutually exclusive.

74: Scar-city

Life is about collecting scars, yet this scar-collecting habit is what gets us killed.

73: Catlarm

Beware of a cat with a plan.

72: TV news

Do they avoid the major and the meaningful — while closely focusing on the small and the irrelevant — by instinct or by training?

71: Autumnatic for the people

Autumn is as romantic as cutting wrists: every day feels cold, messy and drained — like bleeding.

69: Ghogh HablI'

After using Apple's iPhone any other phone looks like a piece of Klingon design.

68: Godburger

Talking about God makes people seem idiotic the same way ketchup makes the finest cuisine taste like fast food.

67: Spitzing

Feeling a sudden compulsion to sneeze while chewing a mouthful of food is bad and can lead to something massively unattractive, especially in a restaurant.

66: Unyounger

It happens what it always happened: got stuck with this young picture of ourselves in mind and now we begin suspecting the truth.

65: Eyesturbation

Masturbation is — arguably — a much saner activity than watching TV.

64: Game over

The minute they start loving you is the same fucking minute you stop craving them.

63: One, two or all three combined

There are three themes in rock/pop music:
1. I kick ass, I'm so surreally awesome;
2. I better die right now, I feel so miserable;
3. let's fuck ASAP, my hormones are squirming!

62: Shop-ping

If the text on the package is written in Japanese — buy the stuff! — it must be good.

61: Plannerism

The advertising planner is the smartest incompetent in the room.

60: Remotion

Photographer's secret — keep moving then stop and keep waiting.

59: Paging Mr. Fellini

Watch a circus number during a 5AM TV show to see to what whooping extent life can prove freaking incomprehensible.

58: The veterinary paradox

The average animals doctor has better people skills than the average people doctor.

57: Moves in movies

On TV people fuck, kill or get killed.

56: Pestsilence

Love it's all sexy and golden — but then they fucking crave to speak.

55: Unthink

“When I paint and start to think it all goes to hell,” Cézanne said — so — to think or not to think, that is the fucking question.

54: Nanostardom

May God's name be glorified for finally giving us the idea of celebrity-free magazines.

53: 1000 one

Under my window, a calm yet merciless beast of an old lady beats the shit out of her beast of a stupid dalmatian dog.

52: Overrated

The elaborated anxiety caused by anticipation of sex is better than sex itself, by far.

51: Downhill

"The good old days" are always old, "the golden age" is always over.

49: Yellow apple-race

Seen from the office window yesterday: an old woman dropped her cloth bag and bright yellow apples rolled along the bicycle track marked on the sidewalk with bright yellow lines.

50: Happiness shot

Flip through an art book while listening to your favorite music and sipping an exquisitely prepared espresso on a sunny Saturday morning.

48: Star Worse

Falling asleep during The Empire Strikes Back, you become fully aware that you're an old fart.

47: Unmotivation

Some people are capable of running for years — give them a finish line and a prize: they'll quit or die.

46: Flip

Some are desperately trying to have kids while some are desperately trying no to.

45: Murmur

Some of the voices you hear are coming from the neighbors' TV, but the rest of them are coming from inside the soft core of your skull.

44: Shit

They're still pronouncing design instead of web design.

42: Scarcity

Not nearly enough exhibitionists for all the voyeur legions.

41: Blunior

Check if you’re still young: does a blue LED make you happy?

40: Little ones

Children are as merciless as beasts, yet far more imaginative — there is no crime nor torture that's not derived from the games children play.

39: Swimpoolism

Perfect guys exposing their gorgeous women.

38: Laterism

Learning the art of procrastination takes a lot of pain.

37: POP3 depression

The Monday morning sadness of having no new e-mail.

36: Holly smell

As a second thought, maybe there's room for a third eau de cologne fragrance, called “I think I may be Jesus”, smelling of desert sand, wine and salty blood.

35: Mac

When you buy a new portable you should ask yourself the following question —Do I need a sticker-laptop or a non-sticker-laptop?

34: Crocobsession

Why do those TV morons feel the need to replay again and again the scene where the hidden crocodile pops up and catches the unsuspecting herbivore — is it a metaphor of broadcaster–viewer relationship or why the obsession?

33: Syncmutism

Watching movies on mute, watching news on mute, watching music videos on mute, watching everything on mute.

32: Pomposition

A pompous proposition, composition or even exhibition.

31: Out of the blue

Disappointed, a beggar skeptically digs a bunch of blue European Union flags out of a dumpster.

70: One

Can these one-liners about life be called one-lifers?

30: Closmic

Closmos = close cosmos; closmic, closmonaut.

29: Indulge

Kick back, have some Porto — fuck, be late!

28: Lacky

Lack of pleonastic love, lack of ultimate meaning, lack of majestic resolution — have to love Antonioni, baby.

27: Archetypes

All eau de cologne should come in one of the following two fragrances: “Gorgeous slut” and “Bad motherfucker”.

26: Pervertising

The future of mankind is driven by advertising; the future of mankind sucks.

25: Super-Turing test

Tell apart the articulate incompetent from the inarticulate competent.

24: De-blabber and de-moronize

Radio would become a wonderful invention again by firing the blabbering morons and employing mute DJs and taciturn newsguys.

22: Force

The mere existence of Police as a force shows how seriously fucked-up genes this species has in its pool.

23: Mugly

Morons are uglier than most people; morons stick with ugly people.

21: Fcuked

And the difference between reoccurring mistakes and second chances is...?

20: Ludic-rous

Murder-inspired toys for children are socially acceptable (guns, knifes, swords, arrows etc), yet sex-inspired toys are not.

19: Meawnanimity

“Everybody, everybody wants to be a cat!”

18: Heavy grannism

Morning in the park: rough and heavy grannies crushing young descendants into submission.

17: Thesis

The probability that a fat guy dressed in white nylon sportswear and Puma shoes will spit on the sidewalk is well above 90%.

16: Lapsus felicis

For a brief moment something reminds me of happiness — then I forget what it was.

15: Ice ice baby

I fucking hate winter: vitriolic wind and Christmas over-benevolent hysteria freak me out.

14: Flashmash

Flash websites are a necessary foul: they entertain the children and the unemployed.

13: Pipoca

The funny word of the day is “pipoca” — it means “popcorn” in Portuguese and I need to use it, somehow: maybe I’ll secretly name someone Pipoca today.

12: Perfect efficiency

If history doesn't kill you, then mother nature will: no survivors are allowed.

11: Esthetics math

The difference between Japanese and American photographic art equals the difference between cats and dogs.

10: Nightdeath

I hate waking up even more than I hate going to bed, what a terrible waste of life!

9: Waste

A bunch of outstanding morons with contaminated hairdos are talking football on TV.

8: Rich black

Design-wise white is far more forgiving than black: black is for the rich and the maniacs.

7: Millifuckingrams

It doesn't matter how many coffees you drink—it only matters how much caffeine you have in the blood.

6: Meow

Out of all known mushrooms, the house cat is the most curious species.

5: Danger

“Don't try this at home,” they say; it means “get a hotel room.”